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Wellbeing • 7 min read

Five Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied at School (And What to Do Next)

Children rarely tell parents directly. Learn the early signs, the questions that work, and the right way to engage the school.

Published 21 April 2026 by Yajur Wellbeing Team

Bullying does not always look like a fight. It can be exclusion from a friend group. It can be teasing about a name, a height, an accent. It can be repeated 'jokes' that always land on the same child. By the time a parent notices, weeks have often passed. Catching it early matters.

The five early signs

  1. Sudden reluctance to go to school, especially on specific weekdays.
  2. Unexplained stomach aches or headaches on school mornings, but never on weekends.
  3. Quietness after school, especially in a child who is normally chatty.
  4. Lost or damaged belongings — books, lunch boxes, water bottles 'missing'.
  5. A sudden drop in marks or interest in a subject, often the one taught in the period before lunch.

How to start the conversation

Do not ask 'Are you being bullied?' Most children say no, either because they are protecting you or because they do not have the word. Try open, indirect questions instead: 'Who did you sit with at lunch today?', 'What was the best part of school today?', 'What was the worst part?' Listen for patterns over a week, not answers in a single conversation.

When you suspect bullying — the right order of steps

  1. Write down what you have observed — dates, behaviours, what the child has said.
  2. Email the class teacher — calm, factual, ask for a meeting.
  3. Ask the school what their anti-bullying policy says and how it will be applied.
  4. Agree on a 2-week observation window with the teacher and counsellor.
  5. If nothing changes, escalate in writing to the principal.

What schools should do

A school with a serious anti-bullying programme will have a counsellor, a named teacher-in-charge, a written policy and an escalation flowchart that parents can see. The goal is not punishment of the other child — it is structured behaviour change for everyone involved. Yajur Public School treats every bullying report as a wellbeing priority, with a same-week response protocol.

What to never do

  • Confront the other child or their parents yourself. It almost always backfires.
  • Tell your child to 'hit back' — it makes them an aggressor in the school's eyes.
  • Dismiss it as 'they will sort it out themselves.' Some children do; many do not.

Yajur's wellbeing approach

If you would like to understand how we handle bullying, conflict and emotional safety, speak with our wellbeing team.

Reach our wellbeing team

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between bullying and a one-off conflict?

Bullying is repeated, targeted and involves a power imbalance. A single argument with a friend, even a heated one, is conflict — not bullying. Both need attention, but the response differs.

Should I move my child to another school if they are being bullied?

Only as a last resort, and only after engaging the current school formally. Moving without addressing the root cause often repeats the problem.

Are boys and girls bullied differently?

Generally, boys experience more physical and overt verbal bullying; girls experience more social exclusion and online bullying. Both forms are serious.

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